30 Days of Thanksvember - Day 6

Today I am thankful for Cipralex and other professional help that's open to me, such as the Canadian Mental Health Association.

No drug is a wonder drug. I've struggled since August 2011, when I began taking Cipralex, and while I've made incredible leaps and bounds, a lot of that has been me pushing, straining, fighting, learning, and coping. Cipralex calms the racing thoughts, giving me a strengthened springboard from which to heave myself from. It gave me some unpleasant side effects at first, but those are long gone now.

It helps me. It doesn't fix everything, but it helps me as much as it can. And I'm very thankful for that.

And I have so many programs available to me. I don't feel alone any more and I feel as though I can easily reach out and grasp someone's hand to further save me from this drowning.

30 Days of Thanksvember - Day 5

Today I am thankful for relief from the Suckies.

The Suckies are unwelcome visitors that make me feel depressed, more anxious than usual, lethargic, and just plain miserable. They make my mood sour and my day or evening bad. They silently took away time that I could have spent joyously crafting or feeling good. I don't have a GO AWAY sign on my mind's front door. I don't have a deadbolt. The Suckies just come right in when I least expect it, gleefully stripping me of all positivity.

Sure, sometimes they have triggers. Sometimes they don't. I never knew how to deal with them until reading this year's Goddess Guidebook from Leonie Dawson. She gave tips on how to combat the Suckies, having you come up with ways of replacing the negativity with serenity and comfort.

So how do I fend them off?

I write in my journal. Getting all the feelings and thoughts out on paper often helps quite a bit. I enjoy curling up on the couch with my slippers, a fleece blanket, and often the tv on while I jot things down.

I drink a nice cup of coffee or tea. Extra happiness if I have a nice liquid creamer!

I take a nap. 'Nuff said! I usually wake up more energized and cheerful.

I go pamper myself. I keep a stock of yummy face and hair masks, lotions, body scrubs, cooling undereye patches, and nail care in the bathroom cupboards. While I'm obsessed with body lotions and mists (I'm looking at you, Bath & Body Works!), I save my most favourites for chasing away the Suckies. After that's all done and I feel like a new person, I doll up my fingernails and toenails in one of my fave polishes.

I go outside for five minutes. Reconnecting with the earth and wind clears the cobwebs and brightens things up, even if it's grey and cold outside.

This evening I did three of those things, and I feel a lot better now. Even with Cipralex and all the other ways I aid my mind in overcoming these illnesses, the Suckies do strike. I'm grateful that I know how I can beat them.

Beauty from the Earth Swatches

Beauty from the Earth, home of work hard to meet customer satisfaction with their excellent customer service and amazing products. Specializing in mineral makeup, their products are silky-smooth and deliver fantastic, vivid colour and quality. I'm very familiar with their products, and they are a company I come back to again and again.

My favourite part about BFTE is their Color of the Week (COTW) special. For $6, you get a full-size colour that's been selected that week, plus three sample jars of your choice. That's a good deal given that full-size shadows are $6.50 each and sample jars are $2 each!

Another great grab are their Get the Look Mini Collections, several of which are in my wish list!

Today I have four colours to tell you about. A few weeks ago, the colour Atomic Teal (linked below) was the COTW, but it took me ages to remember to post about it and the sample jars I got! :)


Very top: sample baggie of Spank Me
Top right: Atomic Teal
Top left: Winter Blues
Bottom right: Poison Ivy
Bottom left: Dragon Slayer
It looks like the colour Poison Ivy may have been discontinued, as it's no longer listed on the site. I wish I had ordered it as the COTW when I could, because I just love it! :(

Anywho, on to the swatches! All are applied on top of Too Faced Shadow Insurance. I'm hoping to get some Liquid Lustre soon to create a better foiled look for my swatches and eye looks.


Top Row: Applied wet
Middle: Applied dry
Bottom Row: Applied wet on top of NYX Milk Jumbo Eye Pencil

Far left: Atomic Teal
2nd from left: Poison Ivy
Middle: Winter Blues
2nd from right: Dragon Slayer
Far right: Spank Me
Atomic Teal
Blackened teal. This colour is intense and sparkly no matter how you apply it! It has awesome coverage and great shimmer. This is truly the perfect teal.

Poison Ivy
Golden-green with golden shimmer. This is such a gorgeous green and would look fabulous paired with Dragon Slayer!

Winter Blues
The site describes this colour as navy blue, but I find that it really shows up as navy when applied wet on top of the Milk eye pencil. It is simply GORGEOUS. The picture really doesn't do it justice, but the one on the site does. It's LOADED with gold sparkle and shine!

Dragon Slayer
Intense, metallic shimmering gold. This colour is one of my new faves! Like Atomic Teal, it has great coverage no matter how you apply it, although applying it wet gives the most dramatic effect.

Spank Me
Deep, shimmering wine. The shimmer isn't much, but it has a gorgeous pinkish metallic sheen when applied wet. It's a little difficult to apply evenly and ends up a little streaky. That could just be me, though.
Overall, I give BFTE a 5/5 rating. I've never had a problem with Crystal or the company's products. The site is easy to navigate, the prices are great, and shipping to Canada has dropped from $5 to $3 and arrives here a lot faster than it used to! :) If you haven't checked BFTE out already, I highly recommend them!


(Day 5 gratitude post to come later!)

30 Days of Thanksvember - Day 4

Today, I am so very thankful for my friends.

Some of them I have known online for eleven years. Some of them I have met fairly recently. Many of them were Trevor's friends first, but accepted me right away in 2008. Some I see as brothers and sisters, and some I see as my best friends. I can't imagine my life without any of them. Growing up with no friends and in complete social isolation, I can't begin to tell you what it means to me to have all these people around me, circling me with their encouragement and love. I can't live without the joy, the memories, and the hysterical laughter. I can't live without the small talk, the in-depth discussions, the support through my mental illness, the get-togethers and the outings and the big events.

I love them all so much. They made made me into a better person. I can be myself around them. I am so grateful for every one of them being in my life.


That's me in the bottom right :)

I promise I will do my best to get the BFTE swatches up tonight or tomorrow! I apologize for continuously forgetting!

30 Days of Thanksvember - Day 3

Today (and every day), I am thankful for my husband, Trevor.

We've survived some pretty bad stuff, including me being away for eighteen months after we got married so I could deal with family chaos, my dad passing, and the permanent residency paperwork. We survived, and the bond between us is stronger than ever.

We work in unison, we live in joy.

He's funny and knows how to make me laugh. He's kind, gentle, and very affectionate. He understands me. We are two halves of a whole, and yet we still have our own separate identities. He makes me feel complete and content. Without him, I don't think I could exist. He's not perfect, but am I? Are any of us? We strengthen each other where we are weak, we lift each other up where we are fortified.

I've known him for ten years now, nearly a third of my life. As of January 22nd, we'll be married for four of those ten years.

I dearly love him.

30 Days of Thanksvember - Day 2

Today I am thankful for living here.

In this area. In this apartment. In this country. In this life.

I'm a bit of a pessimist. Depression and severe anxiety kind of do that to a girl. But when the racing thoughts cease and I look around me, I remember how very blessed I am. Things could be really bad right now; things could be like they were when I lived in Virginia (isolated, controlled, with little to no hope for the future).

I'm no longer isolated.

I live with the city in one hand and nature in the other. The best of both worlds.

We live in a great apartment.

I live in a beautiful country that I am passionately in love with.

We live in a great area that receives excellent weather. We're on the lee side of Lake Ontario and just south of the snow belt, so we usually escape the nastiest storms of winter.

As of December 19th, I will have been a permanent resident of Canada for two years. I can apply for citizenship on that same day next year.

I have a loving husband who is more than that; he's my partner, my friend. We work in unison.

I'm finally able to see a doctor and receive treatment for my mental illness without worrying about buying private insurance and/or going into debt.

I can walk out the door whenever I please and go wherever I please.

Anything is within my grasp.

Verily, I am thankful.

30 Days of Thanksvember - Day 1

Today is my first day of a month long of thanks, inspired by Aoibheal's Lair. There are no blog hops, no giveaways, but if you want to do this too, just go to her blog and grab the button that I too have on my sidebar!


I think this is a great little project, especially since I despise the dreary month of November. The sky is steely, the ground is wet and muddy, the trees are grey and naked. It can never seem to decide whether to rain or sleet or spit snow. I'm 800 miles away from the maternal side of my family and can't afford to hop on a plane to spend Thanksgiving with them.

So, on this first day, I am thankful for my family.


My oldest bio sister, Amanda, with her family


My adult cousins in New York, on my dad's side. Genetically they are not related to me, but we've always just ignored that :)


Me with my biomom (right) and HER mother, who adopted and raised me


My sweet dad, may he rest in joy and peace.


Youngest bio sister, Becky, with our nephew Gage


Bio sister Susan with her newest son, Patrick


Bio brother Robert, his lovely lady Megan, and their daughter Kaidyn

From my blood siblings, to the parents who raised me, to cousins I have recently discovered for the first time, to the three beautiful women who accepted me into their lives as their heart sister. I am grateful for every single one of them and wouldn't be who I am without them.