It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Short post tonight, lovelies, but I wanted to get up my second picture for December's Photo a Day! :)

Day 2 - Elf

Well...

How about THREE pretty elves?


Where: Lowe's Toronto Christmas Market, Distillery District
Time to get back to my projects and riding my wild donkeys! I'll get to wild donkeys in tomorrow's post :) But for now, cheerio!

December Photo A Day!

Looking for my Worldwide Christmas Scrapbooking Freebies post? Click here!


Hello lovelies! I've seen a few different December photo-a-day projects going around, but I think this one is my favourite.



So here is Day 1.




Me
An emotionally drained, 28-year-old goddess
Quiet, skeptical Christian dabbling in Paganism, who loves all faiths
Southern girl living in Canada where she belongs
Working on creative projects
Battling hard with severe anxiety and depression
Sensitive to surrounding energies



Now it's time for me to hop in the shower and be refreshed, relaxed, and ready to drink tea out of my favourite ceramic mug and light some sage incense. I'm going to meditate for a bit, then I'm going to work on making dream pillows before I head to bed to join my husband.

Happy December! Have a freebie!

I cannot BELIEVE it's the first of December already! Holy smokes. Okay, so I said I had a new digital scrapbooking freebie for you, and here it is...

Ta-daaaaa!



DOWNLOAD>


Want to learn how to digi-scrap? Check out some of Digital Scrapbook Place's fab tutorials and get busy!

Check out the rest of the Worldwide Christmas Scrapbooking Freebies here (I'm probably the first one to post, so please check throughout tomorrow in accordance to various time zones and designers' personal schedules):

30 Days of Thanksvember - Days 29 and 30

Day 29 - I am so thankful for support.

I've received countless messages, phone calls, and comments since my mom passed away. I have so many wonderful friends and family members who care for me deeply, and many with their own memories of Mom and their own shared grief. And yesterday, Trevor's manager made him stay home with me, which I desperately needed.

I don't think I could have gotten through the past two days without all this support, comfort, positive light and prayers buoying me above the darkness.

My mom's obituary can be found here. Her picture should be added sometime today.

It was my mom's wishes to be cremated, her ashes mingled with my dad's and eventually freed over the Atlantic Ocean, which she dearly loved. This funeral home will mix the ashes for us. My biomom wants to get some of the ashes divided into small vials or other containers so that each family member can have Mom and Dad with them. A private memorial service will be held later on and filmed for family members who can't be there.

My husband wishes to take our vial of ashes of my parents around Toronto and Canada, since they never got to adventure with me. Mom and I always talked about her getting healthier and her taking a train or plane up here to see all the things I've told her about.

One thing that Mom kept saying over and over to anyone who would listen? "I'm so thankful that Mary has Trevor."

She knew I would be okay, even before we told her she was free to go join Dad.

And I will be okay. I will have bad days, and good days, and all the days in-between. I miss her so much. But think of the joy and pure love and light she is experiencing right now! I am not sad for her at all. I'm just sad for me and the rest of us left behind in her wake.

I am thankful to everyone who has supported me.



Now, I know I'd said that Day 30 was going to be a bit special, but my heart isn't in it, unfortunately, so it's going to be toned down a tad.

Day 30 - I am thankful for Leonie Dawson.



Leonie Dawson is a mentor to women wanting to create + grow massively successful and heart-centered creative + soulful businesses. She is also an author, retreat leader, visual artist, mama and guide for the tens of thousands who receive her free “SHINE IN YOUR LIFE + BIZ” ezine each week.

Leonie has taught alongside such luminaries as Arielle Ford, Julia Cameron, Gay Hendricks and SARK. Her client list includes successful shining women such as Rolling Stone Woman of the Year, singer-songwriter & “Offspring” actress Clare Bowditch to Australia’s Fat Loss Queen Kat Loterzo, master manifesting coach Denise Duffield-Thomas and best-selling author & crystal healing mega star Stephanie Hibiscus Moon.

Her strategic musings and practical wisdom have been featured on Problogger, Tiny Buddha, magazines like Spellcraft, Life Images, Goddess and Spheres, and in three of SARK’s best-selling books on creative fulfillment & freedom.

Purposeful, passionate & unendingly prolific, Leonie published her first book at 22, held her first solo art exhibition at 23, began leading women’s circles the same year, created her first retreat at 25, launched the Goddess Circle — a subscription-based women’s art, soul + biz community — at 27, and has guided thousands of women through transformational experiences over the past 3 years. She’s also released 5 e-courses — including her signature workshop for entrepreneurs, Become A Business Goddess program — 4 meditation kits and 2 workbooks into the digital ether. Her latest book “73 Lessons Every Goddess Must Know” shot to the top of the Amazon bestseller list.

In the process, she has created a half million dollar a year company that doubles in size each year and helps thousands of women every single year. Her mission is to help as many earth angels – women with creative or spiritual gifts – to have profoundly profitable businesses so they may nourish themselves and heal the world.

Previously, Leonie has worked as editor of the Australian Government’s business website business.gov.au which garnered a United Nations award during her time there. She has also previously worked in Minister’s Offices at Parliament House and as a legal secretary. Leonie was formerly a top-achieving economics + art history student at Australian National University before dropping out to become a successful artist.

Leonie has walked labyrinths in the moonlight, wept atop mountains in the middle of a storm, danced with a baby in an old cow shed as a Filipino tribal chief sang, and once married herself in a public commitment ceremony — witnessed by goddess maidens of honor that she’d met on the Internet.

Best-selling author of “Succulent Wild Woman” SARK has called Leonie “a gifted goddess and illuminated creator. I happily recommend her and her lilting work.” Hay House author of “Oracle Tarot”, Lucy Cavendish has said “Leonie Dawson is an amazing artist and spiritual teacher. She’s inspiring, wise, kind and oh-so-talented.”

Pretty much everything she's done has made a positive impact on my life. I would LOVE to meet her one day. She is so full of life, love, and light; so much so that it just radiates from her every pore and especially from her brilliant blue eyes. I may not know her in person (I wish I did!), but she is a mentor to me and a huge, huge inspiration.

You can find her on Twitter @Leonie_Dawson, Facebook www.facebook.com/leoniedawsonpage & at her blog www.leoniedawson.com.

I am so thankful for her dancing right into my life, wild mermaid hair (which she's since changed to a pixie cut) flowing in the Australian rainforest wind.






Thanksvember has taught me a lot in gratitude, happiness, and simple pleasures. Finding something to be thankful for every single day has been a joy, and I'm glad that you all were here to share the ride with me.

Thank you, beautiful souls!

Tomorrow (or possibly late tonight) I have a brand-new digital scrapbooking kit to share with you all. It's FREE, just like all of my kits! It's also Christmas themed! :) Stay tuned!

30 Days of Thanksvember - Day 28

As I only have two days left of Thanksvember, I will finish this month off in continued gratitude. Today it's very hard to. It's so damn hard that I'm light-headed and feel like I'm going to pass out.

After we all let Mom go, told her to go in peace and to leave this broken earthly avatar, that we would all be okay and would forever honour her, she slipped away and died this morning.

She died exactly how she wanted to: peacefully, painlessly, filled with the intense love of her family. Debbie (bio mom) had a long talk with her last night, telling her she could go be with Dad and the rest of our family that have gone on before. As she left the room, she had the sensation of many people rushing past her. Our family was coming to meet Mom.

Late last night I was meditating, sending out all my thoughts to her. I don't know if it was possible for them to reach her or anything like that, but the last thing I thought to her was: "I release you to Dad".

She'd been ready to go for a long time, but I think she was hanging on because we all wanted so badly for her to get better.

I can just imagine her great joy right now, freed from all physical limitations and suffering, rejoined with her loved ones on a plane of super-existence that we can't even begin to imagine. Knowing that she is with Dad is a huge, huge comfort to me.

Me, Mom, and my biological mother made up the Triple Goddess in the flesh.


And we will always be this sacred trifecta, even though Mom is no longer with is in body.

For this trifecta I am endlessly thankful.

The three of us have been together my entire life, which not everyone can say about both of their mothers, even if it's within family like ours is.

Mom always wanted us to move on. I'm going to turn on my beautiful Christmas tree so hopefully her spirit can see it. Like I said yesterday, Christmas was her favourite time of year, and she always wanted a big white tree like what I have. She would be so glad to see it.

I am thankful.

30 Days of Thanksvember - Day 27, A Tribute

Today, I am so very thankful for my mom.

She has endured a lot in her 68 years of life. Amongst all of that she has battled illness after illness since she was a child, has been in the grips of crippling depression, and has come through a difficult life with a brazen smile and a very hard-headed attitude. She has been once of the strongest people I've known.

She has always felt the need to take care of people and things.

She is a matriarch.

Once she got something in her head, she was determined to see it through.

Has she been perfect? Of course not, but none of us are. She has made mistakes, some of them dire, and her hard-headed personality has been difficult to deal with sometimes. But that's part of who she is.

She raised me as her own child (when I am biologically her granddaughter). She made sure I had everything I needed and then some. She stuck up for me, taught me, told me I could do anything I wanted in life if I tried. I wouldn't be the person I am if it weren't for her.

She helped me onto this interesting spiritual path. She made me into a big Star Trek and Star Wars fan, raised me on older music and films, and taught me how to be a smart woman. I would watch her crafting abilities since I was a small child, and I think I got my creative bones from her.

We would talk for hours on end, whether in person or on the phone. In my adult life, she easily transitioned from a mom into a friend as well.

We liked to go up to Walmart in the middle of the night and shop when no one else was there. We would buy pocky and we would have Star Trek and Twilight Zone nights. We'd usually get up at the same time every morning and enjoyed a cup of coffee together. We would chat in depth about prophecy, Edgar Cayce, theology, and she wistfully talked about how cool it would be to be picked up by (friendly) aliens and see foreign stars and worlds. She wished for advanced space travel to be available before the end of her life so that she could do just that.

She adored my husband. She adored all of her grandchildren. She always offered to help, and even when she couldn't, her heart was still there. She made all my Christmases incredibly magical.

She cared unceasingly and unquestioningly for my dad, her soul mate, after he suffered a massive stroke in 1997 and experienced declining health from then on until his death in 2009.

She had open heart surgery in July of this year and survived when no one expected her to.

She has been through a great deal since then and has struggled and suffered much. In the past 24 hours, a hard decision was made, her wishes were respected, and she will be kept from all further suffering. She is being kept comfortable, pain-free, and breathing easily. In the past few months while she was still cognitive and aware, she has been begging to be let go, to be freed from this life. Her desperate wishes are being heeded, but tonight my family and I are struggling with the knowledge that she will most likely not get better. The doctors say this is best, and my family agrees. I want the bright lights out of her face, the poking and prodding and invasive procedures to be ceased, and her soul to joyously fly into the arms of my father.

I'm not ready to let go of her. I never will be. You never think that your parents will die, and as stubborn as my mom always has been, I kind of thought her physical form was immortal. We had talked a lot about her coming up here after her health had improved; exploring Toronto together, spending time with me and my husband. We had talked about her moving into senior citizen apartments in the city, where she would gain independence (in the last couple of years her vision declined so much that she could no longer drive). She was so proud of me for starting my life up here, and she was excited for Trevor and I to start having kids. When Christmas rolled around, she and I were always excited about it and couldn't stop talking and planning.

May she always be greatly blessed and her path be bright and clear and lit by the silver of the moon and the gold of the sun. May we also be blessed, those of us who know her and are a part of her. She will no longer suffer.

May she see all of the stars and other worlds that she always said she wanted to see. And one day, when my time on this earth plane is completed, I hope to see them all with her.


I love you so much, Mom, and I am so grateful for you.


Mom and my dad when they were children.


Mom and her brother


Mom at her grandparents' stead in Salem, Virginia



1986


2010

30 Days of Thanksvember - Day 26

Today I am thankful for holiday spirit.

The glowing lights, sweet music, all the decorations in the stores and the excitement that builds up in everyone's hearts and spirits. It's just delicious and I drink it all up!















I look forward to this all year long. :) If only the lovely spirit, goodwill, and kindness at this time of year could last all the time.