Sunday, November 25, 2012

30 Days of Thanksvember - Days 23, 24, 25

Sorry about being behind again, everyone!! I'm terrible! On Day 30, I will go into great detail about a very special gratitude of mine and why I keep forgetting to update, LOL (and no, I'm not pregnant or anything like that). :)

Day 23 -
I am very thankful for my little altar and everything on it.

It is my sacred space where I pray, meditate, use my crystals, and smudge with sage incense. It's in our bedroom, so it's very quiet in there and can be a much-needed escape from all the electronic draining I feel every day between the tv, my computer, and Trevor's computer. Everything is there because I felt it needed to be. Nothing is there accidentally!

Day 24 -
I am so, so thankful for the good times I was able to spend with my mom in those last eighteen months before I landed here. Somehow, in my heart, I knew it might be the last time I would ever be with her. Unfortunately, it looks like that is coming to pass. She has stage 3 congestive heart failure, stage 4 COPD, is no longer responsive to anyone, her kidneys aren't functioning very well, and a DNR has officially been issued (my mom's wishes which were confirmed several months ago, when she still had a clear mind). Now, I know that these disease stages don't always mean imminent death, but my mom's health has always been very poor and has been just horrible in the past few years, especially after having open-heart surgery in July.

The doctors said there will be no improvement in her condition. I wish I could go say goodbye to her, even though she probably wouldn't know I was there.

I'm going to miss her so much when she does leave this earth plane, but at the very least, she will no longer be suffering, and I hope she will be with my dad who she dearly loved since she was a child.

Day 25 -
I'm thankful for the friends I made at The Meeting House who didn't forget about me. I'd been absent for a very long time, partly because of my anxiety and partly because I was... well... lazy, I guess. And, of course, unsure of where I stood in my spiritual journey. But whatever path I take, this is a part of it right now. And the people I befriended who joyously welcomed me this morning after not seeing me for many months... well, that was a truly wonderful feeling I had.

Today was a good day, for not only did I reunite with these friends, but I saw another friend baptised, and it was a bit of a party! :)

I am thankful.

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