Tips!

Tips for Becoming Canadian

So you're now a resident of Canada, eh? Well, not so fast. there's a few things you should know when moving up to the true north. One of my Canadian friends helped me write a few of these following "tips". I hope you enjoy them!

DISCLAIMER:
This post is is not intended to be offensive in any way, so please do not take it as such.


- Two words: Tim Hortons.

- Don't make fun of the accents that Canadians swear they don't have. This includes, but is not limited to, saying "eh" at the end of every sentence and heavily stressing words like "boot" for "boat" and "aboot" for "about". They hate that and frankly I've never heard a Canadian speak that way.

- With that being said, you must say "Eh?" at least 3 times a week.

- Don't assume Canadians live in igloos and have caribou for pets. Canadians REALLY hate that.

- If you shop at Canadian Tire, you will acquire Canadian Tire "money". Don't ask. You will find out.

- Canadian money is very colorful. Do NOT make loud remarks on how it looks so very similar to Monopoly money. Also, do not walk around with a jingling bag full of one and two dollar coins (otherwise known as loonies and toonies) and role play that you're a traveling bard with a bag full of gold and silver.

- In a typical winter, you'll need to sacrifice flimsy winter fashion for heavy duty gear. So save your cutesy little thin scarves, wedge heel stylin' boots, and pretty jackets for early spring. This is the time of year to be wearing several bulky layers, some of them fairly unattractive!

- Don't go around expressing in ANY way, shape or form that you love winter and/or snow. This includes singing "Let It Snow", wearing clothes with snowflakes on, or expressing any emotion other than anger and depression.

- You must hate George W. Bush 10% more than the US does.

- Start spelling things like "color" and "flavor" as "colour" and "flavour" and you'll earn immediate respect. It also helps to have a perfectly functioning knowledge of the metric system and Celcius, otherwise people might look at you strangely when you say a temperature in Fahrenheit or measure something in inches or yards.

- You no longer have to care about football, if you're American. But if you do still care about it, you do not have to watch the CFL. Even Canadians watch the NFL, as the CFL sucks!

- Don't tell a Vancouverite that Toronto is lots better than Vancouver. You'll probably get your tired slashed or get beaten up.

- Don't root for a non-Canadian hockey or Olympic team. Ever. Don't say I didn't warn you.

- Don't walk around speaking with a faux British accent, or assume that all Canadians have British accents.

- Likewise, don't assume that all Canadians only speak French.

- Nabisco is called Christie in Canada, and DiGiornio frozen pizza is called Delissio. Yeah, I'm still not used to that.

- Milk comes in bags and gasoline is measured in litres. Still not used to either of those.

- CADBURY CREME EGGS AT NEW YEAR'S, PEOPLE.

- Canadian/English chocolate and candy alone will make you want to live here forever!

- Don't joke about maple syrup.



Have a great weekend, everyone! :)

Mary